all I want to do is rot
i invite you to LIVE
Getting out of bed this week has been so incredibly hard (and yes, this is heavy, but hang with me as we search for the light.)
The weight of the world has been popping a squat right in the center of my chest.
Bombs are being dropped on innocent children, people in my own communities are losing funding for crucial programs, and what's next for me tries to loom over me like an impending storm.
And the first thing that always happens when I start to feel that familiar funny feeling is thinking, but why now?
Why, in one of the most beautiful, aligned, free, and magical times of my life, do I feel this way?
There is NO REASON.
But guess what? Our feelings -- that weight -- have a reason.
Have a purpose. Have a message.
And also, guess what, rolling over to go back to sleep to escape, curling deeper into the sheets, and scrolling to numb - those things don't help you translate those messages.
Unfortunately, when the doom tries to consume you, the only thing that is going to bring you back into the sun is choosing life.
Choosing to live. Choosing to surround yourself with trees, and grass,
and interesting people
and art
and music
and the sun on your skin.
The only thing that is going to make your community better, your life lighter, and your heart more open is to experience life.
This looks like getting out of bed to do yoga because your body can, taking a shower because you have access to running water, and eating your egg bites because you put in the effort to make them yesterday.
"I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW"-
you shout, but it's not about KNOWING. We do a lot of knowing always.
It is about seeing the unmade bed and deciding to fold the comforter back for future you.
It is about really seriously getting serious with the fact that you are fed up with being fed up.
I always pose to those who aren't quite there yet to consider, "What would it take?"
What are you willing to miss out on, to lose, to experience before you are finally ready to start making your bed, doing your meditations, saying your gratitude, eating your greens -
what will it take? -
let it crack you open.
For the past three days, I have woken up to the weight and almost let it pull me in.
For the past three days, thanks to my mother meeting me on the mat, the sun streaming into my room, and the work I've been doing and teaching others to do
I have walked out of the house by 9 am each day to the beautiful sky, ready willing, and excited to be alive.
I am not exempt from the hard days, the dark nights, and the complexity of feeling, but I do commit to myself to find my light-- To find my joy-- To find my peace -- each and every day as little or as much as I can possibly muster.
And if and when you are ready, you want someone holding space for you in the places you can't quite hold it yourself, I'm here - going through the mess right alongside you, bringing your healing to the forefront- working on your radical healing from the inside out.
With all the love my human heart can pull forth,
Ady <3
Ways to work with me:
Free Breaking up with Anxiety Masterclass next Thursday - this is an accessible entry point to the work of lifting your weight off your chest.
Anxiety sits there and churns in your stomach- start here to experience what it feels like to meet it, call it by name, and take back your power.
Work with me 1:1 - if this email sparked something within you or moved something you weren't sure could be moved, let me extend the invitation that you do not have to do this alone. This is your reminder that this is your one life - and every fiber in me wants you to LIVE IT fully, richly, abundantly, joyfully - and I am ready to hold this with you.