The wind has shifted

An ego death and the emergence of something new

I don’t know about you, but for me and most of those around me, February felt like a true unearthing.

This shift into a state of being that pulled at all the edges of my being.

I was in the wondering, the wishing, and the worrying, while also being in transition and limbo.

There, every button being pressed, every stress being stressed, and all the daily decisions still needing to be made as massive amounts of painful information flooded our screens and our body systems.

There was a moment when I found myself questioning every part of what I had built and where I was headed.

And just when I thought I had met the edge of it all, when I couldn’t bear the wondering any longer, the wind shifted.

Just as a caterpillar metamorphoses into a butterfly, the process of transformation requires a middle stage, where the caterpillar turns into a sludge-like goo within the chrysalis before emerging into the world in its truest form

And part of that is that no matter how badly we want to get to the other side,
where we are the butterfly,
where we have everything that authentically aligns with all we dream of,
is that we must succumb to the “goo.”

We must let our old self, and all it needed to hold onto, take on a form of surrender that often feels like letting it die. We let all that we have learned, done, and come to know become the nutrients for who we are becoming.

And that looks like allowing ourselves to enter into the goo.
To create like we are in the goo.
To dream like we are in the goo.
To rest like we are in the goo.

Because all the freedom, the discomfort, the space that the goo provides, is in preparation for what comes next. The complete reorganizing of ideas and beliefs that pulls us closer and closer to the highest expression of ourselves.

Read more about this beautiful concept in Danielle Gould’s article, Navigating a Crumbling World: Lessons From the Chrysalis.

Waking up last week, I felt the shift within the goo; I felt my mind and body finally stop attacking the new cells being formed from the old. I stopped fighting the goo and instead allowed myself to become it.

And in that acceptance, that permission to become uncertain, the clarity I had been searching for found me.

The old version of my dream was stripped away and given a new purpose.
From a vision focused on Joy, Warmth, and Integrity, to something deeper, something less clear but far more powerful.

• Stewardship: to steward land, life, self, and community through times of change and transformation. To be the caretaker of my container and to create space within me to hold more.

• Resilience: to be unshakable. A resilience to look pressure in the face and hold firm and soft at the same time. A body that rebounds and a focus that is determined.

• Expansion: to bathe in the belief that all things are possible. To see to believe in a better world, a more aligned life, and abundance in all areas of existence.

Not a need for abandoning my joy, warmth, or integrity, but rather integrating them within this new level of expression. A space that feels more far-reaching and more rooted in my purpose.

Never has the cycle of reintroduction been easy, but with each round and each season of wondering, the belief that clarity always lies on the other side of uncertainty grows ever stronger.

A deep, unshakable knowing that the stripping is here to reveal a layer far more real and meaningful than anything we fight to hold on to.

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Thank you for taking the time to meet me here today.

It feels like this project of sitting down to write has been the key to unlocking so many beautiful things within the “goo.”

I have some projects out in the ether that speak so deeply to my soul and that I hope will be shared broadly soon, but if you are in a phase of desiring to consume more physical media and art, one of these projects may just be medicine for your soul as much as it is mine.

I am releasing parts of that project to my paid subscribers and close personal friends to begin, as it requires much more time and resources than sitting down to write here does. So if your curiosity has been piqued, you can be one of the first to experience this new form of works by becoming a paid subscriber ($5/month or $55/year).

I would absolutely love to bring you along on the journey of exploring something new.